Madcap Favorites

BARGAIN SHOPPING

I'm an inveterate shopper who’d rather shop than eat. I planned my last trip to Italy so I’d be in Rome during the Sunday flea market and my life revolves around shopping...even if it's just running up and down the aisles of Home Depot lookin for Mr. Goodwrench.

As every shopoholic knows the Big Three–London, Paris and Rome offer spectacular choices in all price ranges–from the haute couture of the famous fashion houses, to the European version of Macy’s, to charming boutiques and flea markets where bargains await savvy shoppers. Since I can’t cover all that the Continent I’ll list a few favorites, those places recommended by friends, and popular sites.

LONDON: Portobello Road,“The world’s largest antiques market.”

PARIS: The City of Light is famous for its flea markets. For detailed info visit click on Paris, key in Flea Markets and the link will pop up.

Flea markets for the filthy rich in the French Alps and Riviera: Maybe you’ll run into George Clooney bargaining for a leather jacket. Of special note: the Allées de la Liberté Flea Market Saturdays in Cannes.

ROME: The Porta Portese Flea Market is the one in the Eternal City, but you must arrive early since it’s open Sundays only from 6:30 AM to 2 PM. Take a cab both ways, bring several expandable bags, lots of cash and wear comfortable shoes. There are food vendors on the fringes of the flea who sell delectable breakfast items, cappuccino and panini. Unfortunately there’s no place to sit and there’s always a long line for the nearest toilet, but the market is worth those little annoyances. Guard your valuables and keep your purse close at hand. Click here for a list of other Roman flea markets.

FLORENCE: Viator tours offers a 7 hour Shopping Tour to the Gucci and Prada Outlets in Florence for $24.92 USD per person, where you can buy Prada and Gucci at 30% to 50% off the retail price! You’ll also find high fashion designs from Agnona, Alexander McQueen, Armani Jeans, Balenciaga, Bottega Veneta, Burberry, Emanuel Ungaro, Ermenegildo Zegna, Fendi, Giorgio Armani, Gucci, Hogan, I Pinco Pallino, La Perla, Loro Piana, Marni, Pucci, Salvatore Ferragamo, Sergio Rossi, Stella McCartney, Tod's, Valentino, Yohji Yamamoto, and Yves Saint Laurent. My mouth is watering!

VICTORIA, B.C. My sister and I just visited B.C.'s most beautiful city and found bargains at the Tillicum Flea Market at the elegant (NOT!) Tillicum Bingo Hall, 2400 Tillicum Rd. It's open Sundays 8 AM to 2 PM.

B&Bs

Heathergate Bed and Breakfast is an intimate haven near the heart of Victoria, British Columbia offering superb personalized service and the elegance of English and Scottish antiques. The magical setting features a Mediterranean style patio and “bowers of flowers.” Rooms are spotless and beautifully decorated. A full English breakfast is served in the midst of friendly banter with other guests. The Heathergate property also includes a charming self-catered two-bedroom cottage with kitchen, living room, TV/VCR, laundry facilities and private patio. Kids 12+ welcome in the cottage. Rates $85 to $225 Canadian.

Marketa’s Bed and Breakfast is a shabby gem near downtown Victoria, B.C. owned by a colorful Czech artist. Choose casual student rooms at rock-bottom prices or romantic suites with soaking tubs, fireplaces and understated elegance. Breakfast served family style. Original oil paintings, hand painted furnishings and photos taken by the innkeeper add to the uniqueness. Kid friendly with TVs in each room and a mini-kitchen downstairs. Not handicap friendly due to stairs. City bus is one block. Rates $55 to $95 US, depending on season.

The flavor of a European boutique hotel is what guests find at The Campbell House, A City Inn near downtown Eugene, Oregon (a university town 110 miles south of Portland). The beautifully restored mansion has been converted into an inn surrounded by trees and gardens. Antique furnishings, impeccable service, every amenity you could want. Cottage suites also available. On site restaurant. Rates $119-$349 a night, plus tax.

River Walk Inn B&B, also in Eugene, is a vintage house in a quiet residential area, near a park on the Willamette River. Excellent multi-course breakfast, antiques, quilts, teapot collection, private baths, spotless and cozy atmosphere. Kids by arrangement. Not handicap friendly due to several long flight of steps. Rates $80 to $110.

Mrs. Anderson’s Lodging House, Leavenworth, Washington. Located in a quaint “Bavarian” village in the Cascade Mountains, Mrs. Anderson’s is only a few steps from the shops and parks that make Leavenworth a prime tourist destination. Rooms are furnished with antique hats and clothing and there's an on-site quilt shop. Air-conditioned. Continental breakfast. Family oriented. Very reasonable rates.

The Tudor Inn, Port Angeles, Washington. Port Angeles is a jumping off place for travelers to Vancouver Island. This beautifully maintained historic mansion features gorgeous decor and antiques in intimate rooms with ensuite baths. Lovely breakfast.

The Salisbury House, A stately old mansion on Seattle’s Capitol Hill, close to some award-winning restaurants and a host of fun and funky shops. Two cats named Emily and Jane. Antiques. Private bath. Data ports and phones in every room. Immaculate. Fully equipped basement apt. also available for long-term stay.

Back to Top

THE ART OF BEING A MADCAP
 
Everyone knows the famous Madcaps—Auntie Mame, Lucy Ricardo, and modern-day marvel Dame Edna Everage, a self-made socialite from Melbourne who transformed herself into the dazzling star of stage and screen. But what of those Madcaps in our midst? Zany, wacky, nutty women who defy the odds and fly in the face of convention? These brave women are the eggs in our chocolate soufflé, the Silly Putty that holds society together and keeps us from plummeting into the pits of despair known as reason, logic and fiscal responsibility. Long live Madcaps!

A word about the Red Hat Society I've had lunatic leanings since infancy, dressing and acting outrageously my entire life. I don’t need permission, at my age, to wear a feather boa, purple boudoir pants and a floppy red hat when that's been my normal attire for years. However, I understand some women need a sanctioned and socially acceptable way to let it all hang out. So, towards that end I applaud the Red Hat ladies.
Back to Top

BOOKS
My taste in literature, like my taste in music, film, and art is hopelessly old fashioned!

COZY MYSTERIES
Cotswold curmudgeon Agatha Raisin is the heroine of M.C. Beaton’s cozy murder mysteries set in an English village. Beaton’s other series features Detective Sgt. Hamish Macbeth, a brilliant Scottish policeman who's a total dunce in the romance department. Will he and Priscilla ever get together?

If you’re willing to risk getting hooked on some light mysteries with no promise of future books, try the Southern Sisters series by the late Anne George, an award-winning author and poet who died during heart surgery in 2001. Her protagonists are two sixty-something sisters, “different as night and day,” who constantly find themselves up to their patent leather pumps and purple cowboy boots in murder.

Real-life Catholic nun Sister Carol Anne O’Marie sets her mystery series in San Francisco where she captures the essence of the City by the Bay. Her central characters are Sister Mary Helen and Sister Eileen, two elderly crime-solving nuns. Her latest Sister Mary Helen mystery, Murder at the Monk's Table appeared in 2006.

Mary Stewart, the mistress of narrative fiction, set her romantic novels in France, Greece and Turkey. The plots are believable, the dialog sparkling, and each is steeped in history. Mrs. Stewart earned acclaim for her Merlin series, but I prefer her early works–Nine Coaches Waiting, This Rough Magic, and Madam Will You Talk?

THRILLERS, SUSPENSE, ESPIONAGE
Always late to the ball, I recently discovered Helen MacInnis, a Scotswoman who wrote wonderful spy novels, many set in an era I find fascinating–World War II. Assignment in Brittany and Above Suspicion are the best.

Michael Dibdin’s Aurelio Zen thrillers are dark, complex and brilliantly crafted. They're a treat especially for readers who've lived in Italy. Fans were sad to hear of Mr. Dibdin's sudden death this spring. His final book, End Games, appears in August.

Donna Leon's wonderful mysteries, set in Venice and starring Commissario Guido Brunetti, are wildly popular with fans on both sides of the pond.

The Lovejoy novels of suspense by Jonathan Gash are about a deliciously jaded antiques dealer from East Anglia. Gash’s books are enormously entertaining once you get the hang of the colloquialisms. Here’s an example from Pearlhanger: “The shingle was skew-whiff as if it had been done by a school-leaver for a quid.”

ESCAPIST FARE, BEACH READING, HUMOR
For light escapism I recommend Erma Bombeck’s When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It’s Time To Go Home, an entertaining account of her travels to exotic ports of call like Cincinnati and Bora Bora. Dame Edna's hilarious My Gorgeous Life: An Adventure, is a great "beach read." Elizabeth Adler's sexy romantic novels, set in Europe, are fun.

Please Don’t Eat the Daisies by Jean Kerr details the Kerr family’s hilarious quest for a house large enough for their four wild little boys, a beast of a dog, a housekeeper and a collection of junk. Daisies still evokes laughter even though it was published in the 1950s and many of the references are outdated. The book was made into a cute movie of the same name starring Doris Day and David Niven.

Any of P.G. Wodehouse's Jeeves books satisfy one's hunger for dry English wit.

TRAVEL HUMOR and INSIGHTS
Bill Bryson’s witty Neither Here nor There, captures the vicissitudes of European travel. I especially like his pithy comments about the Germans. I also recommend Alain De Botton's marvelous The Art of Travel as well as Barbara Hodgson's Italy out of Hand.

AUTOBIOGRAPHY
 The Egg and I and Onions in the Stew by Betty MacDonald are two more favorites. Betty “fell” into a career as a writer thanks to her meddlesome sister Mary. Her first book, The Egg and I, is Betty's classic opus about her experiences on a chicken farm on the Olympic Peninsula in the 1930s. It was made into a hit movie of the same name starring Claudette Colbert and Fred MacMurray and spawned the Ma and Pa Kettle series. Onions in the Stew is Betty’s hilarious account of life on Vashon Island with her second husband, two teenage daughters and a boatload of unwanted houseguests.

Carol Matthau's delicious autobiography Among the Porcupines chronicles her enduring relationships with pals Oona O'Neill and Gloria Vanderbilt, her tempestuous marriage to writer William Saroyan and her great love for second husband Walter Matthau and their son Charlie.

Han Suyin wrote of her doomed love affair with an American journalist in the extraordinarily moving and insightful best seller A Many Splendored Thing.

Queen Noor of Jordan writes of her deep love for her husband King Hussein and the Jordanian people in Leap of Faith: Memoirs of an Unexpected Life. The book is filled with intriguing historical and political references and glowing passages about the Holy Land.

WICKED WIT AND SATIRE
The caustic wit and dazzling insight of English writer Nancy Mitford make fine reading. I'm currently reading A Talent to Annoy: Essays, Articles and Reviews, 1929-1968.

Barbara Holland’s Bingo Night at the Firehall: Rediscovering Life in an American Village is a pure delight. I've just starting The Joy of Drinking. For more of Ms. Holland's other titles refer to Curmudgeons.

P.J. O’Rourke’s biting political satire is not for everyone; he’s got a bad case of penile obsession, and some of the content is outdated, but nevertheless I loved Holidays in Hell.

Outrageous and raunchy, but handy for today's working girl is The Bad Girl’s Guide To Getting What You Want by Cameron Tuttle. Tuttle explores the benefits of being phony, shallow and self-serving.

Tom Robbins’ Another Roadside Attraction and Even Cowgirls Get the Blues were huge hits in the 80s. I was still in my Victorian lady stage and found them wickedly vulgar. His hero reminds me of my first husband.

Rules for Aging: A Wry and Witty Guide to Life by Roger Rosenblatt offers solutions to life’s common conundrums and goes down easily—like a slug of Milk of Magnesia.

Valerie Harper’s Today I Am a Ma’ am: And Other Musings on Life, Beauty, and Growing Older pays homage to menopause, features witty illustrations by Rick Tulka and is a delightful quick read. Also, on the topic of aging, is Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck: And Other Thoughts on Being a Woman, although it includes her usual name-dropping, self promotion.

INSPIRING
Joyce Tenneson’s coffee table book Wise Women: A Celebration of Their Insights, Courage, and Beauty moved me with its uplifting text and inspiring photos of women aged 62 to 99.

Stones for Ibarra and Consider This, Senora, by Harriett Doerr are passionate poetic novels about life in Mexico in the 1950s. Ms. Doerr was 74 when Stones was published.

Carolyn Michael’s award winning Enchanted Companions: Stories of Dolls in Our Lives, is a touching, funny and nostalgic collection of stories written by people of all ages and backgrounds, sharing their love for dolls. Marvelous black and white photos accompany each story.

The Red Tent by Anita Diamant is biblical pathos at its best. In this fictionalized story of Dinah, the forgotten daughter of Jacob (of Twelve Tribes of Israel fame), Diamant weaves an engrossing tale of love, betrayal and familial ties. The story illustrates how little womens’ relationships have changed over the last 3,000 years.

I was deeply moved by Mary Doria Russell's A Thread of Grace, a soul-rending novel of love, sacrifice and bravery in World War II Italy.

BOOKSTORES

 Powell’s Books in Portland, Oregon, known as the “City of Books,” is the nation’s largest independent bookstore. I remember when it was a quiet shop on a relatively quiet street. There are five locations around town; several sell used books and feature on-site coffee shops.

The Elliot Bay Book Company in Seattle’s Pioneer Square is another hangout where the city’s literati, latter-day hippies and the tie-dyed crowd meet and mingle. Easy place to spend four or five hours lost in the stacks.

I endorse independent bookstores—they’re wonderful, but I often take the cheaper route and buy discounted books from half.com.

Back to Top

CANDY 
Rogers’ Chocolates
My grandmother discovered Rogers' in the 1930s and it's been a family favorite ever since. Based in Victoria, B.C. with outlets in Vancouver, Rogers’, in business since 1885, makes the finest chocolates on the planet. 800-663-2220. Check out their seconds store in Victoria, too.

Chehalis Mints

Marvelous hand dipped mint candies are the hallmark of this small family-owned company. Available in gold foil wrapped chocolate coins, bonbons or dreamy, creamy butter mints in pastels and custom shapes. The mints are packaged in nifty handmade wooden boxes or cellophane gift bags. Ideal for weddings, parties, and special occasions. Available at the Olympia Farmers Market from April through early December. 800-575-9428.

Back to Top

CATS

 Shop Cat showcases working felines like “Boss,” the manager of Wild Birds Unlimited in Everett, Washington, “Churchill,” a 23-pound bellhop who works in a London hotel, sleeps with guests and spends his leisure time riding up and down in the elevator and one of my favorites, who I know personally, Max of Shannon's Antiques in Centralia, WA. This site offers hours of fun for the whole family.

Looking for some adorable cat images? Visit Diabella Loves Cats.

Back to Top

CELEBRITIES 
I’ve been a movie buff, royal watcher and a devotee of the beautiful people ever since I got my first training tiara. When I worked at KING TV in Seattle I came in contact with a number of “stars,” authors, politicians and once a Saudi prince. The really big celebs tend to be rather nice, but the second bananas and “All About Eve” types are a pain in the derriere.

Of the stars I've seen live, the standouts were Frank Sinatra, Elvis, Sammy Davis, Jr., Tom Jones, and don’t laugh—Ethel Merman. While Frank, Elvis, Sammy and Tom were exciting and sexy, Miss Merman was the epitome of old fashioned glamour. She was elegantly coiffed and cinched into a beautiful gown as she sang a medley of Irving Berlin show tunes and ballads. It was a memorable evening.

Speaking of memorable, my husband and I saw Tony Orlando perform recently. He was so sensational we felt like we were “Halfway to Paradise!” Mr. Orlando still has a wonderfully strong voice and personality to match. Sang all his big hits plus new jazzed up versions of chart-topping tunes. I'm still wandering ’round the house singing “Sweet Gypsy Rose.”

When Anthony Quinn and Lila Kedrova came to Seattle to reprise their roles in Zorba the Greek many years ago they played before a captivated audience. Quinn’s energy, even in his seventies, was remarkable and it was obvious he and Kedrova had great rapport.

Queen Elizabeth II visited Seattle on March 7, 1983 and spoke before a huge crowd at the University of Washington. I was among the fans, wearing a vintage black velvet hat with a feather. Her Majesty waved to me, I’m sure of it. She quoted from the old poem Girl of the Golden West. The Queen was petite, poised and had a peaches and cream complexion. She wore a pastel outfit, an enormous hat and carried her famous empty handbag. Prince Philip was with her, but I don’t recall what he was wearing.

Han Suyin, the author of A Many Splendored Thing, came to Seattle in January 1985 to promote her novel Till Morning Comes. Her husband loomed in the background. He was a tall swarthy Indian fellow in a turban who looked amazingly like Walter Matthau in one of the getups he wore in “Hopscotch.” After the book signing I asked Dr. Han for her reaction to the movie “Love is a Many Splendored Thing,” which starred Jennifer Jones and William Holden. She gave me a Mona Lisa-like smile and said she enjoyed the film and it was, for the most part, faithful to the story.

In the summer of 1986, before he left on retreat, Pope John Paul II said Mass in 17 languages for me and my son Peter. Okay, we were among thousands of other pilgrims, but it was a moving experience. The Holy Father was dressed all in white and like Queen Elizabeth was very poised and confident. I did not seek out Pope Benedict when I was in Rome this spring. John Paul is a hard act to follow.
Back to Top

COFFEE

We discovered two wonderful coffee companies and both have speedy delivery.
Caffe Umbria: A Seattle-based Italian family roasts marvelous, aromatic coffee. Available online and at their Pioneer Square coffeeshop. Their Gusto Crema medium roast is my favorite.

Flying Goat Coffee in Healdsburg, California offers Free Trade coffees. Try their Madrugada blend.
Back to Top

COMIC FILMS
Looking for movies that are genuinely funny and not the tripe they dish up today? Rent or buy any of the following:

“His Girl Friday” (1940) Rosalind Russell, Cary Grant, Ralph Meeker. Black and white classic with Grant as a scheming newspaperman and Russell his ex-wife and ace reporter who wants to marry milquetoast Meeker. Deliciously fast-paced. Miss Russell’s hats are amazing.

“One, Two, Three” (1961) This Billy Wilder comedy set in postwar West Berlin, stars James Cagney as a Coca Cola executive up to his bushy eyebrows in trouble when his boss’s daughter, a teenage Southern belle, marries a penniless Communist. Frenzied fun.

“The In-Laws” (1979) stars Peter Falk and Alan Arkin as two fathers who become unlikely partners in crime. Falk said recently this is one of his favorite films. Hysterical. Beware of the dismal remake.

In an earlier and equally funny role Arkin appears as a Soviet submarine commander who is grounded with his crew off a small village on the Maine coast in the 1966 hit “The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming.” Costarring Jonathan Winters, Paul Ford and a cast of wonderful supporting players.

“The Long, Long Trailer” pairs Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz in a 1954 slapstick comedy about a honeymoon on wheels. Gorgeous color cinematography, wholesome entertainment.

“The Bird Cage,” is deliciously campy with Nathan Lane as a gay cabaret performer, Robins Williams his lover, and Hank Azaria as their nutty servant. When Williams’s son Dan Futerman announces he plans to marry Calista Flockhart, daughter of a conservative politician played by Gene Hackman, the fun really begins. Christine Baranski and Dianne Wiest costar.

Cary Grant is a hoot in the 1949 plum “I Was a Male War Bride,” costarring sultry 1940s “sweater girl,” Ann Sheridan, in a rollicking farce set in postwar Europe.

Another delightful romp is the Grant comedy “The Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer” (1947) with Myrna Loy as a prim and proper judge and a teenage Shirley Temple her sister who’s smitten with Grant. I feel skunklish!

“It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World” (1963) is one of the funniest films I’ve ever seen. It centers on a madcap treasure hunt for stolen money and features a constellation of stars including Sid Caesar, Milton Berle, Phil Silvers, Buddy Hackett, Jonathan Winters, Mickey Rooney, Jimmy Durante, Peter Falk, “the Merm” (Ethel Merman), Dorothy Provine, Edie Adams, Dick Shawn and Spencer “What am I doing in this movie?” Tracy.

Walter Matthau and Glenda Jackson had great chemistry in “House Calls,” a 1978 comedy about a recently widowed doctor and a patient he rescues from an incompetent surgeon played to bumbling perfection by Art Carney.

Matthau and Jackson were also terrific together in “Hopscotch,” (1980). Matthau is a disgruntled CIA agent bent on revenge against his blithering idiot of a boss (Ned Beatty) and Jackson is his loyal paramour.

Back to Top

CURMUDGEONS

“No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up." Jane Wagner

Just discovered the wonderful Despair site where curmudgeons can celebrate their crankiness, and trash those eternally upbeat optimistic people who are all around us. I won't name names, but you know who you are.

Try these curmudgeonly titles: The Portable Curmudgeon by Jon Winokur. Whip this out the next time you need a snappy comeback to some stupid remark.

Barbara Holland takes crankiness to new heights with her world-weary Wasn’t the Grass Greener: A Curmudgeon’s Fond Memories and Endangered Pleasures: In Defense of Naps, Bacon, Martinis, Profanity, and Other Indulgences.

Across the pond the cranky folks at The Apostrophe Protection Society are monitoring the use and abuse of apostrophes. Apostrophe mangling has reached epidemic proportions according to them.

Every January the watchdogs at Lake Superior State University compile a “Banished Words” list of words and expressions that have outlived their usefulness, were worthless in the first place, or are just plain annoying. Add your own!

Ever scratch your head at your boss’s latest memo and say, “What in hell does that mean?” If so, turn to Buzzwhack, a “site dedicated to demystifying buzz words.” Categories include “Whack of the Week,” (incomprehensible Web sites and press releases), “Buzz Rants,” the “Name Game,” and a host of weekly “Buzz Words.”

A must for all obsessive-compulsive writers or anyone with a journalistic bent is The Slot, produced by award-winning New York Times writer Bill Walsh, author of Lapsing into a Comma: A Curmudgeon’s Guide to the Many Things That Can Go Wrong in Print and How to Avoid Them and his latest The Elephants of Style.

Back to Top

blandings
DECORATING/REMODELING
My obsession with decorating was revealed to the world in “Hurricane Mary’s Decorating Diary” on iFloor. If you're also obsessed or just mildly interested in decorating check out these sources:

That Home Site and Garden Web has forum discussions and tons of useful information. Participants are focused on the subject, and they don’t revert to character assassination like so many sites.

HGTV is teeming with brilliant ideas and countless ways to aggravate your spouse. My favorite shows (this week) are: “House Hunters,” (I want to know the prices!) and "Designed to Sell." Quit watching "Decorating on a Dime" because it was painful to watch as the so-called team of experts decimated rooms at $500 a pop. Dreadful, simply dreadful.

DIY Network is not yet available in our village, but it’s coming and all I can say is heaven help me.

Building a house? Get a copy of God and Mr. Gomez by Jack Smith. It’s a true story about the hilarity surrounding the construction of the Smiths’ house in Baja, Mexico by Señor Gomez, a colorful character who works on a timetable determined by God. Published in 1950, but still relevant.

Another chestnut that still resonates after all these years is the 1948 black and white film, “Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House.” Cary Grant, Myrna Loy and Melvyn Douglas star in this hilarious tale about city dwellers who decide to build a home in the country. The scene where Loy picks out the paint colors is unforgettable. Buy it at Amazon.com.

I am often asked where to buy Italian Vietri tile, which I mentioned once in an iFloor article. Try Italian Harvest but prepared for their steep prices. Also try to find them online at eBay.

I love hearing from readers. Send me an e-mail to share your decorating or remodeling horror story.
Back to Top

FENG SHUI

My daughter-in-law and I got on the feng shui kick a couple years ago and it’s really changed our lives–for the better. Here’s a list of some of our favorite feng shui books:

Move Your Stuff, Change Your Life offers lots of practical advice and easy “cures.” Author Karen Rauch Carter also has her own Web site. Feng Shui: Harmony b